If you’re looking for bad dog puns… then you are barking up the wrong tree!
We have worked like a dog to come up with this list of pawsome puns related to your furry four-legged friend.
We think we have found some new jokes, that not everyone and their dog has heard before!
So, hopefully these puns don’t make you as sick as a dog, and only elicit a small eye roll or minor groan.
As they say, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks… but, you can tell him a joke or two! We’ll cut to the chase and won’t keep you for much longer, or else you’ll have a bone to pick with us.
Best 10 Dog Puns
What do you get if you cross a dog with a telephone? A Golden Receiver
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs? Jurassic Bark!
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common? They both have collar ID
What type of dog is best at timekeeping? A watch dog!
What is a dog’s favorite movie series? Fifty shades of Greyhound!
Who was the greatest dog detective? Sherlock Bones!
What did the puppy say to his mum? I woof you!
What is a dog’s favorite book? Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone!
What is a dog’s ideal job? A barkeologist!
What do you call an old dog? Grandpaw!
15 Dog Name Puns
What do you call a sad pup? A mellon collie
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away? It was far-fetched!
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog!
What breed of dog always gets cold? A Bichon Freeze!
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog? A boxer!
What is the poshest breed of dog? A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel!
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework? A lab report
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers? A bud hound!
What type of dog chases anything red? A bull dog
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates? K9
I went to a zoo, hoping to see lots of small animals, but they only had one… It was a Shih-Tzu
What is black and white and red all over? An embarrassed dalmatian!
What’s a dog’s favorite drink at Starbucks? A pugkin spiced latte!
Which dogs make the best music? Pitbull terriers!
What did the dog say when he had a bad day? Today has been ruff
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him!
What do dogs eat for breakfast? Pooched eggs!
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist? I clean my canines every day!
What happened when the dog ate a firefly? He smiled with de-light
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog? A Croaker Spaniel!
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke? A Chi-ha-ha
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail? Because it was framed!
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal? That really hit the spot!
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping? Pup-peroni!
When is a black dog not a black dog? When it’s a Greyhound!
What do you call someone who loves dogs? A pug addict!
What do dogs increase? The pup-ulation!
What is a dog’s favorite instrument? A trom-bone
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? Cat-has-trophy
What kind of dog keeps everything they own? A hoarder collie!
Funny Dog Puns
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog? Yeah, he rings a bell
What do you call a dog that sneezes? Achoo-huahua!
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold? A chili dog!
My dog got a promotion… She’s now a branch manager!
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote? Because they always hit the paws button!
What did one flea say to the other? Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?!
How do fleas get from place to place? By itch-hiking!
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding? Because they are always spotted!
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common? They both have a lot of bark!
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator? A friend you can count on!
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon? He was looking for the man who shot his paw
Cute Dog Puns
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog? A ciao ciao!
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle? Dingo Starr!
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school? Her pet-degree!
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes? He was a little husky
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie? Pupcorn!
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow? Slush puppies!
Dog Puns List
Why was the dog chasing his own tail? Because he was trying to make both ends meet!
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same? Dogglegangers!
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly? The collie wobbles!
What do dogs and Santa have in common? They are both seen Dachshund through the snow!
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith? When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door!
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle? You’re looking very fetching!
Where did the dog leave her car? In the barking lot
What do dog scientists to with their bones? They barium!
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog? Long time no flea!
Why was the dog such a good storyteller? Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect!
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian? Out, out, damned spot!
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside? A pet-ticoat!
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier? A hot-diggity-dog!
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line? You must be my backyard… because I dig you
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet? It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw!
What type of dog can use a phone? A dial-matian!
Why did the dog cross the road twice? He was trying to fetch a boomerang
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’? Because ‘Frost’ bites!
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic? Its bark was worse than its bite!
What do you call a large dog that meditates? Aware wolf!
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them? To help them find the nearest fire hydrant!
Why did the dog say ‘moo’? Because he was learning a new language!
Why do dogs hate computers? They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows!
What did the dog order at a restaurant? His owner’s homework!
How do you know when your dog is lazy? When it chases parked cars!
What is a dog’s favorite hobby? Collecting fleas!
What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away? Now wait just a doggone minute!
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner? An Angela Bassett Hound!
What did the dog say to its fleas? Stop bugging me
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary? Take the words out of his mouth!
What kind of dog loves bubble baths? A shampoodle!
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard? Put him in your backyard!
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog? Because dogs love bones!
How do you keep a dog from smelling? You hold its nose!
What do dogs say when something cool happens? Paw-some!
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor? He kept seeing spots!
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper? That was ruff!
What type of dog doesn’t bark? A hush puppy
Where should you never take your dogs shopping? The flea market!
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey? Jack Spaniels!
What is a dog’s favorite breakfast food? Woofles!
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window? Two dogs barking outside your window!
What do dogs have that no other animal has? Puppies!
Why do dogs run in circles? Because it’s hard to run in a square!
Funny Dog Memes
Hopefully you enjoyed these priceless dog puns, jolly jokes, and these merry memes!
Tell us in the comments below if we tickled your funny bone and let us know which of these waggishly whimsical jokes you’ll be hounding your friends and family with!
At the very leashed, we hope those puns weren’t too ruff on the ears…