Most humble greetings, mallards and ladies. Welcome, welcome, to the most fowl collection of funny duck puns and jokes on the web, gathered here to quack you up!
Look no feather, I mean seriously, we have puns by the duckload!
The real question is…waddle tickle your fancy?!
Before we quack on with this, flap over this way if you’re looking for funny duck names, but only after you’ve quacked yourself silly at these jokes.
So, without feather ado, let’s get started!
The Top 10 Duck Puns and Jokes
These are our top picks from all the duck puns that grace the web. We think they’re nest level!
- Why do ducks say quack? Because they can’t say moo.
- Why do ducks never grow up? Because they grow down.
- Why don’t ducks make plans? They prefer to wing it!
- What does a duck wear to a fancy event? A ducksedo!
- What did the flying golf ball yell to the mallards in the pond? Duck!
- What is storytime called when you read to ducklings? Ducktales.
- What do duck physicists say? “Quark, quark.”
- Which musician do ducks listen to the most? Drake.
- What when a duck has hiccups? It lays scrambled eggs.
- What do you call a duck that breaks into people’s houses? A robber ducky!
65 Funny Duck Puns List
We’ve been all hands on duck here, compiling the best list of duck puns around…believe it or not, some of these we came up with on the fly!
- Why did the duck get detention? He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.
- Why did the duck get a red card in the football game? For fowl-play.
- At what time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
- What did the duck’s friend say when she won lottery? “You lucky duck!”
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? The Nutquacker!
- What’s a duck’s favorite vegetable? An eggplant!
- What do ducks say when people throw things at them? “Time to duck!”
- Most ducks live in what state? Duckota.
- Two ducks are swimming in a pond. One of them said “Quack quack.” The other replied, “I was about to say that!”
- What do you call a cow and two ducks? Cheese and quackers.
- Why did the duck sleep under the car? Because he wanted to wake up oily.
- What do naughty ducks lay? Deviled eggs.
- What do you see when a duck bends over? It’s buttquack.
- What do mallards eat at a baseball game? Quacker-jacks.
- What do you call it when it’s raining ducks and chickens? Fowl weather.
- When is roast duck bad for your health? When you’re the duck.
- What do ducks have with soup? Quackers.
- Why do ducks lay eggs? They would break if they dropped them.
- Why did the duck cross the road? He was tied to the chicken.
- What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes? “I hope I didn’t quack any!”
- Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck? Because he wouldn’t quit quackin’ jokes.
- What do you call a bird that can fix anything? Duck Tape.
- Where do tough ducks come from? Hard-boiled eggs.
- What did the ducks carry their schoolbooks in? Their quack-packs.
- What do you call a cat that swallows a duck? A duck-filled-fatty-puss.
- What did the lawyer say to the duck in court? “I demand an egg-splanation!”
- What’s a duckling’s favorite game? Beakaboo!
- Why do ducks check the news? For the feather forecast.
- How do ducks talk? They don’t; they quack.
- Why did the duck end up in jail? He was selling quack.
- Why did the duck get a second job? He had too many bills.
- What did the duck say to the banker? “My bill is bigger than yours.”
- What happens when a duck flies upside down? It quacks up.
- Why was the duck put into the basketball game? To make a fowl shot!
- What do pre-teen ducks hate? When their voice quacks.
- What has fangs and webbed feet? Count Duckula.
- What did Detective Duck say to his partner? “Let’s quack this case!”
- Why did the duck go to the chiropractor? To get it’s back quacked.
- What did the duck say to the corn it ate for lunch? You taste a-maize-ing.
- What kind of TV shows do ducks watch? Duckumenteries.
- What is a chick’s favorite drink? Peepsi.
- Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Why are ducks bad drivers? Their windshields are quacked.
- What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? The Nutquacker.
- What do you call a duck that loves fireworks? A fire-quacker.
- Did you hear about the duck who thought he was a squirrel? That was one tough nut to quack.
- What’s a duck’s favorite taco topping? Quackamole.
- Why do ducks like campfires? They love seeing them quackle at night.
- Two ducks were waddling down a sidewalk when, suddenly, one tripped and fell. It got up and said to the other duck, “I’m sorry — I tripped on a quack!”
- What do you get if you cross a duck and Santa Claus? A Christmas quacker.
- How do ducks make pancakes? They use Bis-quack!
- What is a duck’s favorite sea monster? The quacken.
- What do you call a rude duck? A duck with a quackitude.
- What show do ducks watch on TV? Duckumentaries.
- What do you call a crate that’s filled with a bunch of ducks? A box of quackers!
- What do you call a clever duck? A wise quacker.
- Where did the duck go when he was sick? To the ducktor.
- What did the duck say when the waitress came? “Put it on my bill!”
- How can you tell rubber ducks apart? You can’t because they look egg-xactly the same!
- On what side does a duck have the most feathers? The outside.
- If a duck says “Quack quack,” what says “Quick quick?” A duck with hiccups.
- What is the baby duck’s favorite game? Beak-a-boo.
- What’s a duck’s favorite animal at the zoo? Quackodiles.
- Why do ducks fly south for the winter? It’s too far to waddle.
- Knock, knock.
Quack, open the door and you’ll see!
Sorry to Stop Here
Did these funny duck puns ruffle your feathers? Or did you keep a straight face, so they were like water off a duck’s back? Let us know in the comments, or share any you have come up with yourself!
For those of you who ducked those questions, we here at My Pet’s Name hope you had a good laugh, added a feather to your cap, and will share these puns and jokes with those around you!